How to Get Joy

For this to work, you’ll need to open yourself up

It will require a few measuring tools and a bowl

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees

Grab the largest bowl you can find

Dig down deep on the inside of you and scoop up that cup of pain

Dig again and scoop out hurt, add it to the bowl

Then add 2 cups of frustration, 3 cups of disappointment, 4 cups of fear

2 cups of dishonesty, 7 cups of anger, 1 cup of regrets, and 5 cups of sadness

Feel better?

Add 1.5 cups of water

Pour one fourth teaspoons of flour

Thrown in some yeast

Knead together until doughy consistency comes about

Place ingredients on a flat pan

Turn up oven to 475

Let ingredients stay in there until they burn

Never to be returned

Grab another bowl

Search for the happiest memory you have, add one half cup of it to the bowl

Toss in 2 cups of laughter, 5 teaspoons of smiles, 4 cups of peace, and 3 teaspoons of happiness

Sprinkle them with a dash of love

Mix together thoroughly

Place in oven for 10 minutes

Once browned a little, consume every chance you get

Seafood Bliss

At the bottom of
the ocean you lurk seeking
your prey, bam snip snap
You’re caught, trapped within
You strike and tussle, but the
battle is lost, shoved
into a cooler
Temporarily you sit
In a pot of hot
water, sprinkled with
seasoning salt, garlic, old bay
marinated in
butter, you’re steamed to
perfection, ready to be
devoured by me


“Do you have an ACH account so I can send over that bread?” (ACH is an electronic network for financial transactions in the United States. It stands for Automated Clearing House.)

“I fell asleep while she was on top.”

“I threw up a few times. We was lit, wasn’t nothing major.”

“Living in another universe would be like walking on water. Just pure freedom, dude.”